‘Top Gun: Maverick’ Is Actually the Gayest Movie of the Year

Last weekend, I made a gay pilgrimage of my own. I took my sad little self to the nearby Alamo Drafthouse

chowed down on some mozzarella sticks, and delighted in the sequel to one of the gayest films of all time, Top Gun.

Top Gun: Maverick is a perfect film. No notes. Tom Cruise? Weirdest fucking movie star in the world, but damn great in this movie.

The action sequences? My normally uninterested ass was living for them.

Jennifer Connelly? Never been better! And the gayness? Through the roof.

Off the charts. Shooting for Mach 9 but feeling a little brazen and pushing it to Mach 10 instead.

I speak confidently on behalf of a sizable segment of the population when I say that,

when one thinks of the 1986 film Top Gun, the first thing that comes to mind is not a person in a fighter jet.

It is of glistening biceps being flexed during a game of shirtless beach volleyball.